they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
