I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize