I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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