why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize