Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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