Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
