I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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