if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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