Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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