i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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