Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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