Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
