Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
