I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
