Non-Jews are for practice
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
