My Higher Power is John Stamos
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.