I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this