so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I came so hard my ears popped.