I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?