My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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