I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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