some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
