i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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