There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
