Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
