I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
