He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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