Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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