He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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