Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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