Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
