You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize