I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think i have two assholes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
