Small penises have feelings too.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
