I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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