i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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