my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize