i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i dont even know how to be here
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
