I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
