I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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