I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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