I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
