Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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