She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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