i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
