I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
