Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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