i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
