...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just pee around me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
