did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize