I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
