You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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