he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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