Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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