You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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