Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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