I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize