All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
