Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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